Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Wednesday Love!

First things first... Thank you so much to everyone for all your sweet comments and encouragement from my last post.

What I'm loving and to be quite honest it's more of an obsession is our NEW PUPPY! Jonathan and I had talked for a while about getting a another dog so that Wrigley, our black lab, could have a companion. We seriously considered it over the summer, but when we found out I was pregnant we knew it was not the right time. Then, when we found out we lost the baby, it was kind of a no brainer that we were getting a puppy!

So with that said, meet Judge! Judge is short for Judge Baylor (we both went to Baylor University). He is a white purebred labrador retriever! We love labs!

Is that not the most precious face you have ever seen?!? Completely in love!

Judge wanting to cuddle with his big brother and Wrigley wanting nothing to do with him!
(They have since bonded and becoming best buds)

Melts my heart!

I've got my eye on you!

Is this my best angle? ;-)

Judge is the pefect fit for our little family!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Heartache Healing & Hope

At the end of last year my husband and I started the process of trying to get pregnant. What an exciting time of our lives. At that point, we had been married 3 ½ years and we were ready to expand our family.

December rolled around and we officially started “trying” at the right time of the month. The pregnancy test confirmed, or so I thought, that I was not pregnant. A couple of weeks later, I noticed things were not right with my body (I’ll spare you the details here). I called my doctor and explained what was going on and he said to come in that day so he could check things out. It took all of about 3 minutes once they nurse called me back to find out that I was pregnant. I was shocked that we got pregnant immediately. I was also very scared because I knew that with what was going on with my body that there was a good chance this might not be a viable pregnancy. They took my blood to have my hormone levels checked. I saw the doctor and he explained that I was probably having a miscarriage, but this early on spotting/bleeding can happen even with a viable pregnancy, but that we would know more in the morning once my blood results came back.

Oh my goodness, what a whirlwind this all was. I didn’t even have my husband with me because I didn’t think I was going to be given this kind of news, so I saw no reason to bring him. I hated calling him to tell him the news. While I was so excited I was pregnant, I was more terrified at the unknown and the probability of a miscarriage. This was not how I ever imagined sharing this exciting news with Jonathan. The rest of the night was terrible. I felt like I was just waiting for devastating news. We kept reminding ourselves that even if this one didn’t work out, it was encouraging to know that we can get pregnant.

I got the call from the doctor the next morning while I was at work. It was the news we wanted. My hormone levels were high enough to believe that I had not miscarried! Praise the Lord! We weren’t out of the woods yet, he did want to see my levels a bit higher at this point, and they needed to at least double of the weekend, and given the spotting, I was ordered to immediate bed rest and put on some hormones to try and help things along. I was told to come back first things Monday so we could recheck my levels and confirm where we were at with things.

The weekend was so long and dreadful. We just wanted to know that we were out of the woods so that we could peacefully celebrate the exciting news. I returned to the doctor early Monday morning and a rush was put on my lab work so that we could get the results within a couple of hours. The call came in shortly before lunch. I had miscarried. We were devastated.

To make sure the miscarriage was not ectopic, my hormone levels were checked a couple of times over the next week or so. About a week and a half later, my hormone levels were still rising (just not in a way that they should if you have a viable pregnancy) and it was clear to the doctor that the baby was obviously stuck somewhere, most likely my fallopian tube. It was an ectopic pregnancy, just when we felt the news couldn’t get any worse. For some reason, this felt so much more devastating and defeating than had it been a normal miscarriage. There was so much unknown and fear associated with an ectopic. First of all, they can be life threatening as your fallopian tube ruptures. Second, they usually result in having to remove the fallopian tube if it has in fact ruptured. And third, an ectopic pregnancy changes so much in terms of getting pregnancy again. I was consumed with fear and defeat. Was I ever going to get pregnant again, if so, would it be another ectopic pregnancy? I was tortured over this. And the next several weeks were horrible.

There was a small blessing for me, one that most women in my situation don’t have. My fallopian tube had not yet ruptured. This meant no surgery. However, that left me with the only option of getting these horrible injections that severely poison your body in order to kill the pregnancy. I was sick for weeks.

Once the waiting period of not being allowed to try and get pregnant for a while passed, I became more hopeful and excited. So much of the fear and defeat that had consumed me was replaced with hope and excitement for the future.

After just a few short months of trying to get pregnant again, we found out in July that we were pregnant! We were elated! We never thought that it would have happened so fast after everything that we had gone through. Given my history with our first miscarriage/ectopic pregnancy, the doctor wanted to see me immediately to check my hormone levels. We were so excited to find out after two rounds of blood work that everything looked perfect and normal. Next step was to go in for my first prenatal appointment and hear the heartbeat. We got to do this at 7 weeks. It was amazing. We couldn’t believe we were hearing our precious baby’s heartbeat and looked at that little peanut on the screen.

The doctor gave us the thumbs up and green light for everything and asked to see me back a few weeks later. When I arrived for the second appointment the doctor asked me about my symptoms and morning sickness (it had been really bad). He told me how much the baby has grown and changed the past few weeks and said I would be really surprised to see all the little features. He started the sonogram and he was right. The baby had grown so much. You could see so many features that you couldn’t see at the first appointment.

The most devastating news that I could possibly hear came just a few seconds later. The baby had no heartbeat. I was heartbroken. I felt as if I was having an out of body experience. This couldn’t be happening again. We had already loved this baby so much. We had planned for this baby. We had already bought a crib. I had just gone shopping with my mom to buy maternity clothes. How did this happen?

The doctor said the baby measured in size within just a day or two of where I was at in my pregnancy and had died sometime in the last 24-48 hours. I was too far along for my body to “naturally” take care of the miscarriage, so I had to have surgery. I was given the option to wait a few days, but I couldn’t imagine trying to get through the weekend with our lifeless baby inside of me. I know that sounds morbid, but that’s how I felt. My husband and I agreed that I would have the surgery that afternoon.

It’s now just a few weeks later. The numbness and shock have subsided, and sadness and anxiety seem to be my most common emotions. I will say this, after our first miscarriage I had so much fear. I felt hopeless and defeated. I do not feel defeat, fear, or hopeless this time. In fact, I’m very hopeful. I know we will have a baby. I know the Lord will richly bless us. Jonathan and I are already so richly blessed. But still, how do I go from planning for this life that is no longer going to happen? How do I go back to where we were before I knew I was pregnant? The funny thing is, I don’t think you can go back. I know I have to accept this, even though I don’t want to. More importantly, I have to find a new normal because it’s impossible to go back.

Right now I’m finding comfort in knowing that I’m completely dependent on the Lord with every breath I take. I’m so thankful for that. We are nothing without our faith in Jesus Christ. That’s where our hope is. My precious husband reminds me daily to look around at the wonderful life we have together. I love him for that, as for so many other reasons.

I hope this blog post helps someone else who is struggling with this issue. I hope it brings you comfort in knowing that you are aren’t alone in your grief, although I know it can and often does feel that way at times.

I know this is going to be a process, as getting through any tragedy is. For now, one breath at a time. One day at a time. And this too shall pass.

Friday, July 8, 2011

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

I feel so inspired this week. I came across several things for our home that I fell in love with.
(On a side note...Our house is pretty much finished, in terms of decorating and accessories. We just need to get a couple of slipper chairs (one for the living room and one for the master bedroom), patio furniture, and a headboard/foot board for the master. I know that sounds like a lot, but it's really not.)

Back to my favorite things that inspired me this week... We purchased these curtains for our guest room. I love how bright, clean, and crisp they are. They bring such a natural element to the room. I'll post pics of the guest room as soon as we get them hung.

We also found curtains for our living room at Pottery Barn. I'm thinking we will order them sometime next week! They will match everything so well!

I love these His & Her pillows from Ethan Allen. Not sure if I will buy these because they are burlap and we don't really have a burlap-y look in our house, but who knows, maybe I can find a way to use them! I adore them!


What inspired you this week?

Thursday, July 7, 2011


On June 10th my sister Lindsay (whose blog can be found here at Woods Life ) and her husband John had their first baby.

Hudson was welcomed into this world at 5:16pm weighing in at 7lbs and 9oz at 19 inches long.

He's so precious!

Me, Jonathan, and Hudson!

Precious family of 3!

Jonathan and I were so excited to be able to be there with them and share in the amazing experience. I can't wait to see this little guy grow and experience life! He is so loved!

Friday, July 1, 2011

Just a Glimpse

We've been in our new house now for 5 weeks. 5 weeks today to be exact. Time sure does fly by! I still don't have all the pictures of the house ready to post yet, so I thought I would just post some of my favorite areas of the house. Enjoy!

Breakfast room

Formal Dining Room (aka my favorite room in the house!)

This last picture was taken before we had bought out breakfast room furniture. The breakfast room is to the right where Wrigley is standing. I like this picture (even though it is not much to look at) because you can see how open everything, yet at the same time each room still has its own identity.

More to come later!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Missing Lauren Spierer

I'm taking a time out today from normal blogging topics to blog about a missing student. There have been requests on Twitter for anyone who blogs to please blog about Lauren Spierer.

I'm sure many of you have heard about the missing college student Lauren Spierer who attends Indiana University. Lauren was last seen around 4:30am on the morning of June 3, 2011 near the intersection of College Ave & 11th street.

I can't even begin to imagine how Lauren's parents and family must feel. I have been following the story ever since news broke of her disappearance. No one is coming forward with information and there are very little clues. Someone has got to know something, right? Lauren's parents have begged and pleaded for any information that could lead to some kind of break in the case.

Here is a picture of Lauren. She is such a beautiful girl.

Here is a picture of a truck that Bloomington police believe to be involved her disappearance.

I live far from Indiana but felt that even from Texas I could help raise some awareness on Lauren Spierer.

Monday, June 20, 2011

What I'm Looking Forward To

This week I'm looking forward to so many things. Big, small, and random.

1. I'm looking forward to eating our leftovers for dinner tonight. Last night we had my dad over for Father's Day I made a delicious pasta dish. Linguini with spicy italian sausage, peppers, and onions. So yummy. Can't wait to indulge in that again tonight!

2. I'm also looking forward to hanging up the last our our wall decorations in our new house. We have just a couple of things to hang in our bedroom and living room.

3. I'm looking forward to getting at least four workouts in this week. I already worked out today, so just 3 more to go! I'm blessed since I work at a gym I just have to walk 5 steps out of my office to the training floor to workout! Love being able to get my exercise in during my lunch break!

4. I'm looking forward to buying a new flat iron. Mine broke a couple a couple of weeks ago so it has been a frizz fest up until now.

5. I'm excited for the upcoming weekend! We already have some fun activities planned! One of my best friends sings in an amazing party band here in Dallas and they are playing near our house on Friday so we are going to her show. My brother who lives up north is also going to be in town with his family, so we are having everyone over for a BBQ on Sunday!

6. And last, but certainly not least, I'm looking forward to all my usual trashy reality TV shows! Love me some Bravo TV!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

A Spoonful of Lovin

I love that our apartment is nearly all packed! Just some clothes in our bedroom and a few random items in the kitchen and our place will be completely packed!

I'm loving that we hired movers for the first time to take care of this move and that we aren't doing it on our own! That deserves a Vicki Gunvalson Woo Hoo!!

I love that our dog, Wrigley, brings us so much joy and laughter. And he is pretty darn handsome if I do say so myself.

I love that my back has healed so well. I can't believe it will be one year this weekend that I broke my back in the Memorial Day car wreck. The Lord really carried us through this past year and we feel so blessed to have our health. Can you believe this was the condition I was in nearly a year ago? This picture was taken when I sat for the first time. Not one of my finer looking moments but it was a huge milestone in my rehab so it was worth documenting!

I love that I get to meet my sweet nephew in just a few short weeks! Hudson will be here before we know it!

I'm loving my new shoes that I got this past weekend!

And last, I'm loving the beautiful day that has come after a rough night of severe weather and tornadoes, and I pray for those who were not as fortunate.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

On The Move...Again.

This week we are in the process of moving. Again. I say again because in the nearly 4 years we have been married, we have moved quite a few times. This will actually make move #5. That is right, 5 moves in just under 4 years.

I can't wait to get into our new house. It is the perfect home to grow into. We are totally in love with it. I will do my best to "document" our moving process, which begins at the end of the week. And as soon as we get into the new house I promise to share pictures.

The stress of this move has been a bit overwhelming, maybe because we have moved so much I just get so anxious and stressed over the whole situation. One thing that I am so proud of myself for is before we started the packing process I went through every room/closet in our apartment and cleaned out so much stuff to throw away! I'm talking 7 large trash bags! I was so proud of myself. I have never been a hoarder, but it just feels so good to purge once in a while! Check out that pile of junk we got rid of! This is probably more exciting for me than anyone else.

Stay tuned for pictures of our move and the new house!

Friday, May 13, 2011

Vacation in Washington D.C.

For Spring Break (yes, that is right, Spring Break. My husband is a teacher/coach so we still get to take Spring Break trips) this year we went on a fabulous vacation to Washington D.C. with my in-laws. Neither Jonathan or I had ever been to D.C. which truly made this vacation a trip of a lifetime. We had so much fun and created some wonderful memories with Babe and Papa Joe, aka PJ (that is what I call  my in-laws).

We attempted to do EVERYTHING we possibly could in the 5 days we were in Washington. There is so much to do and see when you go to D.C. it is impossible to get it all in, but we sure as heck tried! Jonathan and I flew in early on a Sunday morning and Babe and PJ didn't get there until that night, so it was nice to have the day to just explore the area around our hotel and have some alone time.

Our first full day started off bright and early with our tour of the Capital. Our tour was arranged through the Oklahoma's Senator office. We live in Texas but our in laws are in Oklahoma. We technically stayed in Arlington, Virginia near the Pentagon, so we took the Metro everywhere which was really fun. Jonathan was able to navigate his way through he metro and always knew which train we were suppose to be on. You would think he had been living there all along. It was great because without him we would have been riding the Metro in circles the whole time!

**I must warn you in the following pictures I do not look much like myself. When I fly I get terribly swollen for days and it greatly impacts my appearance. LOL **

Here is a picture of us coming up the escalator at the Metro.

And a picture of us outside the capital.

We also went to Arlington Cemetery which was so beautiful and absolutely amazing! We watched the changing of the guard of the tomb of the unknown soldier. What an amazing moment to watch!

One of the coolest things we did was a segway tour of the monuments! This was awesome!! It lasted for about 3 hours and we were able to see everything! The Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial were truly amazing. As much as I loved the Segways, I was not great at them. In fact, I was quite terrible, and I know I embarrassed my husband. Haha! But I still loved every minute of it!

We also went to the National Archives, Library of Congress, and the Smithsonian! My favorite thing at the Smithsonian was seeing Julia Child's exhibit. I stayed in it for probably close to an hour!

I have some more pictures from our trip that I will share later on. We truly loved our time in D.C. and will treasure that trip forever!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Shame, Guilt, and New Furniture

So it has only been about 8 or 9 months since I last blogged. Shameful, I know. I feel so guilty. I want so badly to be a good blogger. My sister Lindsay, who can be found at  Woods Life , says it just takes practice and consistancy. So cheers to getting back on the horse.

We have so much going on in our lives right now so what better time to begin blogging... again. To sum it up we went on a fabulous vacation to Washington D.C., bought some new furniture and we spent a few weeks house hunting. We found a house in the next town over and we cannot wait to move in just over 2 weeks! I will share more about our vacation and new house along with pictures in a later post.

Our new furniture came in from Ethan Allen recently. We got a gorgeous club chair and matching ottoman. I just love the crisp clean lines that this brings to our space!